Please, take me to the beach

I am pining for a shore;
waiting to feel the earth on me.
I am longing for the waves;
hoping to drench in nature…
For I am losing myself;
in the contamination of the plastic around me.
So I’ve decided
I aint settling for the smell of daisies…
I want them in my hands
I aint settling for the scent of wet sand…
I want it on my feet..
I aint settling for the idea of fresh air
I want it against my skin..
I am appalled by the besetting sham ..
..this forgery of the original..
How long will I battle?
How long will I survive?
Before I turn into…
..a knot in this fabrication..
please, take me to the beach..

A million nights

A million nights

Have run across

my palette of life,

Since I last threw

a wondrous stroke of words

to give meaning to this blinding white existence.

I am over flowing with thoughts…

…but my colors have drained out.

I am looking for a new

Blazing set of inspiration

To come

Paint me a new rainbow

That needs no rain

And no Sun

To be born.

It just stays

Smiling on the sky;

Forever.

For there have been

Many rains that came

With a promise

Of a shining rainbow to follow,

But all they left behind for me

Was a litter of broken faith

In hope.

I survived ,

I did.

But each new survival brought

A minor death within me.

Now what’s left…

Is a corpse clad in white

Dying …

…to be adorned in colors.

 

Smile for a change

Dig for the reasons

and smile for a change.

Dance and feel the breeze,

to help forget the pain.

It seems like a gruesome task,

it’s not impossible to achieve.

Think of that spring you once lived,

before you drowned in this grief..

Need NOT despair

if you’ve been crushed.

Rewind your memory,

to the times when you were a bud.

Think of all those people

and light up your face.

For bringing back those dreams,

will refresh your days.

Gibberish-Just a Rundown..

I am not here to write anything new or unusual that any of you might not have read or heard elsewhere. This is just a rundown of my weary mind that’s gone numb but is still being coerced to feel.

On my way back from an iftar treat last night, I found out about this young guy who’s been shot 3 bullets in head, 4 on legs and 2 on chest. And this happened just a few hours before maghrib; a muslim was killed while he was fasting. But what’s even more terrible to realize is that he was killed by a muslim brother (whether he was fasting or not, I can’t say). When I say brother I am absolutely not regarding the universal notion of brotherhood in Islam, the killer was victim’s real brother. The murder was a result of a blinding greed for some petty piece of property. The victim left behind a sister who’s scheduled to get married next month and is cursing herself because she was the one who encouraged him to go for work despite the fact that he did not want to leave home that day.

On researching more, I found out that the deceased brother had recently been set free from the jail after serving a sentence of 7 years imprisonment. That too, was a result of some false accussation and the poor guy having no links with the higher authorities had no other choice but to quietly swallow the bitterness and ugliness of our society.

Listening to his story, I felt we do not need ANP, MQM, Jamat-e-Islaami, secret agencies, Talibans or even American drones (et cetera) to kill us. Our greed is enough to take our lives and rot in this never to improve place!

I will write tonight

I will write tonight…

 For the sake of my assuaging heart.

So what if I haven’t felt sad for a while?

 So what if my heart is no longer fragile?

 So what if now I wear a smile?

 So what if I’ve crossed a thousand miles…

 from that pain that had killed me inside out,

from that disbelief that left incessant doubts.

 My words can be my partner on my way to joy,

 if then I was destined to sorrow now I’ve a right to enjoy.

 He should never know he changed me,

 And that’s my plan of ploy.

Stronger than a volcano

I will be wife to none,

but this silence tonight.

Not just tonight…

but forever.

For I am tired

of expressing to myself,

the need

to express;

the darkness that hides within me.

I have failed,

to be my friend.

But

I am strong.

Stronger than a volcano…

Cuz I can keep my lava inside!

Exiled

I feel exiled,

Not because I’ve no people around me.

But because,

my words don’t speak to me.

I wonder…

if it’s an open bleeding heart,

that has scared my words away?

And they are trembling in some corner of my head…

waiting for me

to come and rescue.

But I am numb.

My mind’s numb.

Or is it that I like to believe,

I am numb?

A false protection against a presumed danger…

I reckon it is a lie,

But a strong shield that has hidden me inside.

I wonder if I will ever dare,

to speak the truth?

To recognize I am bleeding inside?

And tell myself…don’t run away…

“It’s time to stitch your heart…”